'THIS is garbage," scowls jailed mob boss Paul Vitti (Robert De Niro), dismissing a "Sopranos"-like TV series - a criticism more appropriately leveled at this criminally unfunny attempt to milk the popularity of 1999's "Analyze This."
Though it makes no sense on even a comic level, authorities spring the murderously psychotic Paul from prison into the personal custody of his reluctant and neurotic ex-shrink, Ben Sobel (Billy Crystal).

Paul's temper sabotages his attempts at straight jobs, including stints as a car salesman, restaurant host and jewelry-store clerk.

So Ben gets him a gig as a technical adviser for the TV series about a suburban gangster, "Little Caesar," which stars an Australian actor played by an unbilled Anthony LaPaglia.

LaPaglia actually is Australian (though he's never used his real accent in this country) - and he does a fairly devastating parody of James Gandolfini, who in real life beat LaPaglia out for the lead in "The Sopranos."

But that very inside joke aside, LaPaglia, like everyone else here, doesn't get any decent lines to work with.

When Paul registers surprise at his character's nationality, LaPaglia says, "There are lots of Italians Down Under."

"Down under what?" Paul asks.

The screenplay - credited to Peter Steinfeld, Peter Tolan and director Harold Ramis - plays like a series of skits that were thrown together on the set.

Most are stupid and vulgar - like a post-coital Paul interrupting a shiva for Ben's father by flashing the elderly guests and demanding a ham sandwich.

The poor writing and nonexistent character development put a damper on even halfway decent ideas, like bringing in Cathy Moriarty - De Niro's wife in "Raging Bull" - as his successor as head of his crime family.

Less good ideas include naming a character "Al Pacino" and having De Niro parody his performance as a catatonic in "Awakenings."

The very worst idea: having Paul, who at one point feigns insanity, sing virtually the entire score from "West Side Story."

De Niro's shoulder-in-the-ribs mugging, which is not much more amusing than his dreadful singing, is enough to give you second thoughts about the comic career he launched with "Analyze This" - which has quickly descended into aggressive dreck like "Showtime" and "Analyze That."

Though he served as executive producer, Crystal is pretty much reduced to playing De Niro's straight man - except for one disgusting scene where his self-medicating shrink starts drooling over his dinner, and the finale, where the character inexplicably resorts to punching somebody out.

Lisa Kudrow, who's back as Ben's long-suffering wife, is little more than a highly paid bit player, with even less to do than LaPaglia or Joe Viterelli, who returns as Paul's loyal but hapless flunky.

It's sad to think this shapeless, sloppy, badly paced mess was directed by Ramis, who helmed one of the smartest films of the past 15 years, "Groundhog Day."

"Analyze That," which beats even its feeble gags into the ground, is aimed at audiences who find endless screaming matches and crotch-grabbing scenes hilarious.