Aspiring writer Aubrey (Lindsay Lohan) is kidnapped, but when she turns up--missing part of a leg and an arm--she claims to be down-and-out stripper Dakota. Meanwhile, the world's slowest police investigation searches for the culprit and attempts to determine if there's really a Dakota or if Aubrey just thinks that she's one of the characters in her stories.

Big question: With Lohan's sexual-abuse comedy "Georgia Rule" behind her, can "I Know Who Killed Me" do anything to turn her career around?

Skip it: With sky-blue tools, gloves and mask, the killer looks so much like a member of the Blue Man Group that you expect him to spit marshmallows at his victims. As for Lohan, it's uncomfortable to watch someone who's hit rock bottom in her personal life play such a sleazy character, and it's made worse by the potential for someone in the theater to yell, "Take it off!" during the strip club scenes.

Catch it: For the year's funniest sex-scene music, which ratchets up the "bow chicka bow-wow" factor as Dakota gets down with Aubrey's boyfriend. And yes, this happens after she loses body parts.

Bottom line: The plot makes so little sense that it's surprising Sandra Bullock ("Premonition," "The Lake House") isn't in the movie. Lohan's bod is certainly right for the role, but it's sad when an actor's real-life troubles can be seen as research for onscreen instability.

Bonus: Eddie Steeples, also knows as Darnell "Crabman" Turner on "My Name is Earl," pops up as Dakota's prosthetic assistant. His words of consolation are priceless: "You'll be back on the dance floor in no time."